Workin' it Wednesday: Marriage

Today's post is all about how we're working on our marriages! Randy and I were married on June 27th, 2015 - so we have about a year and a half of marriage under our belts. At the end of the day, Randy and I know that divorce isn't an option. We made a lifetime commitment when we chose to get married and we know that everything in this world will try to tear us apart. Especially in this era of all things social media; there are many temptations. But we are in it for the long haul, together. That being said, these are the ways Randy and I put some work into our marriage to keep it alive, happy, harmonious and STRONG. 

1. Daily Devotional

We bought THIS love language devotional last year but didn't quite get through it. We re-started it this year and are going strong! It focuses on the love languages (more on that below) and gives real life examples that other couples have gone through. Each day has a scripture verse and a prayer to pray along with the devotional. We'll usually read it right when we wake up or right when we get downstairs for breakfast; it helps us start our day right! It's really great to just take five minutes every day to focus on one specific thing that will strengthen our marriage. 

2. Research on Love Languages

I think before we were even married I started researching the five love languages. It made SO much sense to me that we each have our own love language. The way I like to be loved may not be the same way Randy likes to be loved! That's HUGE! So I forced asked him to take the quiz and I took it as well. His top love language is Words of Affirmation. If he goes out of his way to do something for me (empty the litterbox, unload the dishwasher, make the bed, etc.) and I don't acknowledge it or thank him for doing it, his feelings are hurt! I'm the kind of person that just does things and doesn't expect anything to be said in return so I never thanked him for doing those things. My love language on the other hand is quality time. A car ride, watching a TV show, eating dinner together - anything where it's just the two of us spending time together makes me feel loved, even if it's only 5 or 10 minutes. I also love a thoughtful gift and an act of service, but my top language is quality time. If we go too long without a little quality time, I feel disconnected from him! So you see, without this knowledge, we would just go on living life wondering why Randy didn't feel loved when I didn't re-affirm his gestures or why I didn't feel loved when we didn't spend a little time together! This is a biggy. I highly recommend newly married couples (or any couples!) take the quiz and discuss it with each other.

3. Time Apart/Separate Hobbies

This one is fairly simple, but still a big deal. I'm in a volleyball league and a bible study. Randy is in a hockey league and recently joined the fire department. So while my love language is quality time, I enjoy time apart as well. I think it's important to remember who you are as individuals as well as who you are together. Before I met and married Randy, I had my own life and my own friends and so did he! It's important for us to each maintain our separate hobbies so we are still strong individuals but are even stronger together. 

4. Communication

I think this one is simple. NO ONE can read minds. I can't expect Randy to know that I wanted him to bring me home a donut if I don't tell him to do it and then proceed to get mad when he walks through the door without one.. (I might know that from experience). Ha! Anyway - I learned well before we were married that I need to tell my husband everything. What I need, what I want, what's making me happy, what's making me sad, etc. and he needs to do the same for me! Our goal is to make each other happy and we both know we're more than willing - we only need to tell the other one how to do it. 

5. Church/Time in Prayer

Randy and I go to church every weekend together. Well, unless I'm song-leading. Then I song-lead and he has to sit by himself (poor guy). Anyway - going to church and praying together only brings us closer. God needs to come before either one of us. The saying goes, 'a cord of three strands is not easily broken'. And I completely agree. He brought us together and we need to keep him in the forefront of our minds to keep us together!

So that's all I have for today. We've only been married for just under 2 years but I think we put a lot of effort into our marriage every day to keep it strong. I know it'll only become harder when we bring little babies (God willing) into the mix so we're workin' hard now! Do we absolutely follow these 5 guidelines to a T every single day? Definitely not! That's why we give grace. I give grace to Randy when he forgets to take out the garbage every once in awhile and he gives me grace when I just HAVE to win an argument and be right. That's what marriage is to us - a lot of give and take and GRACE.  😊💗 

Fly to Jesus

My sweet grandmother went to be with Jesus this morning around 2am. Although I'll miss her dearly, I know she's in a better place. Here's my letter to her... 

Dear Grandma P, 

I will ALWAYS miss every part of you, but here's what I'll miss the most.

Your cute little laugh. 

That pretty white hair (that you hated so much). 

The cute little slippers you always wore. 

Your 'special K' bars (which were really rice krispies with chocolate on top). THE BEST.

The way you'd try to keep talking after I said I had to take off. You just loved to chat!

How you called my dad 'Stevie'. :)

Your love for the color blue. 

Teaching me to put sugar on my strawberries. and LOTS of it. 

The way you'd say 'HOLLY' after I made yet another sarcastic, 'smarta**' comment to you!

Talking about the Kardashians with you!!

The special treats you always had in your fridge and pantry.

Your photo books you put together for all of us.

The old VHS tapes you kept around.. Forrest Gump, Mrs. Doubtfire, etc...

The sparkle in your eye when you'd tease me. 

I hope you're enjoying heaven with Grandpa and my Daddy. Say hi to them both. ♡

Love you always. 

I remember showing you this picture from our wedding.. You HATED it (just like you did with every picture of yourself). But you told me I looked like a model. So, so sweet. Although you hated looking at pictures of yourself, this is one I will treasure forever.

This song is really resonating with me. Fly to Jesus, Grandma. ♡

Weekend Rewind

This weekend went a little differently then I planned it! Such is life.. here's a little recap.

Friday night after work, Randy and I headed over to my mom's apartment building (she's got a temporary apartment while her house is being built). They have a large gathering room where my nieces' birthday party was being held on Saturday. We waited there for my sister and mom to help decorate for the party. Around 6:30 we headed home. Randy left shortly after to go play some outdoor hockey with his guy friends. I put my jammies on and headed straight to our new bed :) - more on the new bed in a later post! After some Gossip Girl, I drifted off for the night. 

Saturday morning I woke up, did some laundry, dishes, etc. then got ready for the big birthday party extravaganza! My nieces' birthdays and my sisters all fall in a line. Mara's birthday is on February 2nd (she just turned 6), Ellie's is on February 3rd (she just turned 3), and my sister Abby's is on February 4th. Crazy! So because the girls' birthdays are so close, they still have a combined party. We headed over there about 9 and got the party started! After some delicious brunch, presents, and cake, we got some bad news.. my paternal grandma's aneurysm had burst. We've known about her aortic aneurysm for quite a few years now but she's been doing so well, it came as quite a shock that it finally came to life (to me anyway). With that news, we headed up to the hospital to be with her and the rest of our family. They're keeping her pretty sedated as she was in a LOT of pain when the aneurysm ruptured.. it was quite a shock to me to walk in and not be able to talk with her. She was always a talker - you never had to worry about what to talk about when you went to visit her. It was always easy to visit with her! She looked quite comfortable and like she was just heavily sleeping though. I suppose that's a lot better than her being in pain. We're told it will be hours or a few days before she passes. It's tough to tell. After a few hours there, we headed back home for the Saturday night mass. My older niece was reading a petition at mass; it was a treat to see. After church we headed home and literally crashed. Rand and I put in a movie but passed out by 8. We were exhausted after an emotional day!

Sunday I got up and did the normal again - dishes, laundry, made breakfast, etc. I did a little cleaning before I left for the hospital again. I headed there to sit with my grandma and family again. I left after a few hours and went to see my other grandma. She's also in a care center but doing well. My mom and I visited with her for a bit and then headed out. I went home to work for a couple hours and then headed to watch the Superbowl with my mom and some of her friends. They are a riot and WOW, what a game. We just got home a little while ago and I'm wiped.. I'm laying in bed watching Gossip Girl (of course) and finishing up this post. I'm sure this week will be a little different depending on what happens with my grandma. I took the news hard at first but.. we all knew it would happen eventually and it's all up to God. He had a plan for the timing of my grandma's death and I need to trust Him. It's hard because she was such a special lady but.. I know she had a good life and I can still talk to her whenever I want. 

That's all for now.. I know this post may not be exciting or interesting (I don't think I took one picture the whole weekend, oops), but it's just me documenting my life. It's like a little scrapbook for me - whether it's made up of words or pictures, I don't care. I just know that one day I'll look back and be really grateful I typed all of this up. 

Master Closet De-clutter and Reorganization

Over the weekend, I decided to go through my husband's and my closet. We needed to get rid of some stuff we weren't wearing regularly and just re-organize to maximize our space. Come on in.. :) 

This is what you see first.. a window and normally a kitty or two.

When you look to the right, we have my side. This is the hanging clothes..

And then my shoes and the folded clothes.. 

Randy's shoes and folded side..

And Randy's hanging clothes..

Over on the other side of our bedroom, there's another smaller closet where I keep my dresses, pajamas, undergarments, etc. So here's that...

Now to the good part! Here's mid-way through.. The pile to donate:

 The pile of scarves to go through...

In the midst of organizing.. trying to do it by color and type of shirt.

Same thing on my side.. organizing by color/type of shirt.

Getting there...

The pile continues to grow!

Now for some before and afters!

Randy's hanging side.. before and after:

Randy's folded side might be my favorite area I completed. It was the biggest mess of all the areas. Much cleaner and tidier now! Before and after:

My dress/pj/etc. closet... before and after:

My folded side... before and after:

My hanging side... before and after:

There ya have it! There's still a couple other things I may do to the space.. add a few lights, make the switch to all one type of hanger.. I'll do an updated post if/when I get around to those things! It's not a huge, dramatic change but overall we got rid of about 5 bags of clothes/accessories that we're donating and the whole closet is just cleaner and tidier. Which in turn means that it's easier to find everything which SAVES TIME! :) #ilikebeingefficient #andsavingtime 

Happy Wednesday!