Workin' it Wednesday: Marriage

Today's post is all about how we're working on our marriages! Randy and I were married on June 27th, 2015 - so we have about a year and a half of marriage under our belts. At the end of the day, Randy and I know that divorce isn't an option. We made a lifetime commitment when we chose to get married and we know that everything in this world will try to tear us apart. Especially in this era of all things social media; there are many temptations. But we are in it for the long haul, together. That being said, these are the ways Randy and I put some work into our marriage to keep it alive, happy, harmonious and STRONG. 

1. Daily Devotional

We bought THIS love language devotional last year but didn't quite get through it. We re-started it this year and are going strong! It focuses on the love languages (more on that below) and gives real life examples that other couples have gone through. Each day has a scripture verse and a prayer to pray along with the devotional. We'll usually read it right when we wake up or right when we get downstairs for breakfast; it helps us start our day right! It's really great to just take five minutes every day to focus on one specific thing that will strengthen our marriage. 

2. Research on Love Languages

I think before we were even married I started researching the five love languages. It made SO much sense to me that we each have our own love language. The way I like to be loved may not be the same way Randy likes to be loved! That's HUGE! So I forced asked him to take the quiz and I took it as well. His top love language is Words of Affirmation. If he goes out of his way to do something for me (empty the litterbox, unload the dishwasher, make the bed, etc.) and I don't acknowledge it or thank him for doing it, his feelings are hurt! I'm the kind of person that just does things and doesn't expect anything to be said in return so I never thanked him for doing those things. My love language on the other hand is quality time. A car ride, watching a TV show, eating dinner together - anything where it's just the two of us spending time together makes me feel loved, even if it's only 5 or 10 minutes. I also love a thoughtful gift and an act of service, but my top language is quality time. If we go too long without a little quality time, I feel disconnected from him! So you see, without this knowledge, we would just go on living life wondering why Randy didn't feel loved when I didn't re-affirm his gestures or why I didn't feel loved when we didn't spend a little time together! This is a biggy. I highly recommend newly married couples (or any couples!) take the quiz and discuss it with each other.

3. Time Apart/Separate Hobbies

This one is fairly simple, but still a big deal. I'm in a volleyball league and a bible study. Randy is in a hockey league and recently joined the fire department. So while my love language is quality time, I enjoy time apart as well. I think it's important to remember who you are as individuals as well as who you are together. Before I met and married Randy, I had my own life and my own friends and so did he! It's important for us to each maintain our separate hobbies so we are still strong individuals but are even stronger together. 

4. Communication

I think this one is simple. NO ONE can read minds. I can't expect Randy to know that I wanted him to bring me home a donut if I don't tell him to do it and then proceed to get mad when he walks through the door without one.. (I might know that from experience). Ha! Anyway - I learned well before we were married that I need to tell my husband everything. What I need, what I want, what's making me happy, what's making me sad, etc. and he needs to do the same for me! Our goal is to make each other happy and we both know we're more than willing - we only need to tell the other one how to do it. 

5. Church/Time in Prayer

Randy and I go to church every weekend together. Well, unless I'm song-leading. Then I song-lead and he has to sit by himself (poor guy). Anyway - going to church and praying together only brings us closer. God needs to come before either one of us. The saying goes, 'a cord of three strands is not easily broken'. And I completely agree. He brought us together and we need to keep him in the forefront of our minds to keep us together!

So that's all I have for today. We've only been married for just under 2 years but I think we put a lot of effort into our marriage every day to keep it strong. I know it'll only become harder when we bring little babies (God willing) into the mix so we're workin' hard now! Do we absolutely follow these 5 guidelines to a T every single day? Definitely not! That's why we give grace. I give grace to Randy when he forgets to take out the garbage every once in awhile and he gives me grace when I just HAVE to win an argument and be right. That's what marriage is to us - a lot of give and take and GRACE.  😊💗